I am not a writer. Even though I hold a bachelor’s degree certifying me as a student of journalism, I assure you, my best efforts as a writer are nothing compared to my God-given talent as a photographer. Having only taken one black and white film class in college, it’s a true testament of God’s blessing in bringing me to where I am today. Having photographed more than 200 weddings, I sit here thinking about where I am and knowing that it’s only by God’s grace that I am the photographer and business owner that I am. I’m living a life I never considered or knew about. But God knew. He gave me a personality suited perfectly to caring about others and the joy they’re experiencing. He gave me an eye to see beauty in every person. He gave me the ability to tell their stories through a camera lens. He gave me a love for music that allows me to dance through wedding receptions every Saturday night. He gave me the ability to have peace in a stressful situation and to make others feel at ease. He gave me an outgoing personality that can engage with almost anyone. He gave me the desire to make others happy and to do my best to serve others well.
I photographed my first wedding at DBU. I had a canon 30D, 2 lenses, and 1 battery. (1 Battery! I had to charge it during the reception to make it through the whole day!) While I didn’t know what I was doing, I did it with my whole heart. I loved it! After that wedding and one senior portrait session, I threw myself into building a business. By God’s grace and provision, I photographed more than 25 weddings in my first year. Some of those first clients and I are friends to this day and I owe so much gratitude to those who trusted me in those early years.
While working two other jobs, I spent my extra time teaching myself photography, teaching myself how to build a business, creating my own marketing materials, building my first website – I learned as I went along. God carried me through those early years and He continually provided me with clients and opportunities.
I nearly gave it all up and quit while I was going through troubles in my marriage and my eventual divorce. After six and half years of marriage, I faced some trials and suffering but chose to try and work through them for one and a half years. The strain of photographing weddings during that time was unbearable. I would drive to a wedding, sobbing the whole way. I’d sit in the church parking lot, waiting to go in, then call my friends freaking out moments before walking in to meet my bride for the day. And through it all, new clients still booked me: again, a clear grace of God. He provided financially throughout my entire trauma.
After the dust settled of the divorce, a new trial began: clinical depression. There were days I couldn’t get off the floor. I’d lay on my carpet weeping. And somehow, again by God’s grace, I would pull myself up, go shoot an engagement session or a wedding. My friends, my church and my doctor helped me on the road to healing, but it’s a true gift that God enabled me to get through being a single, business owner, going through depression. Being a self-employed photographer is not always easy: I live alone, work alone, nearly all of my friends are married and I struggle with loneliness, self-worth, sadness, loss, and more. Through it all, I never doubted God’s faithfulness, truthfulness or provision because He came through and surpassed my hopes in providing everything I needed. And it’s something I never want to forget.
So I sit here, writing this, reflecting on the journey of God’s grace & favor in my life. While I’m still struggling through depression, He has carried me, been faithful to me and given me grace to continue. He gives me grace to rejoice with my sweet clients, to capture their love and affection for one another and to continue my business. He has opened up doors to do non-profit photography and to photograph beautiful places in the world as well.
“My only hope is in you.” Psalm 39:7.
So I write to testify that my only hope is in God: for salvation from my sins, for salvation from my trials, for salvation from suffering. God has provided Jesus to be a covering over me, to make me right with Him and to restore a relationship that sin has broken. And with a restored relationship with God, I am made His child. He is my Heavenly Father and He shows His love and grace to me by providing for me and allowing me to show others His love through the work I do. I’m grateful to God for the joy I have in my work and for the ability I have to bless others with beautiful pictures that can bring joy, happiness, and thoughtful reflection. I hope to be faithful in the work God has given me to do and look forward to the many couples I have yet to meet and the many celebrations ahead to photograph. Despite my best efforts to be something else, God has created and gifted me to be a photographer.
